The poems of my ancestors

Photo by McGill Library on Unsplash

Human beings are members of a whole, since in their creation they are of one essence.

When the conditions of the time brings a member (limb) to pain, the other members (limbs) will suffer from discomfort.

You, who are indifferent to the misery of others, it is not fitting that they should call you a human being.

- Saadi Shirazi

I come from a long line of peacemakers.

My grandfather and my great uncle were mediators and peacemakers in their large families and the small village they grew up in. I grew up hearing stories of how different people would go to these men, the elders of their community, to have their disputes resolved. Their calm and kind demeanor drew others in. It felt calm just being in their presence.

I also grew up hearing and reciting many sonnets and poems of beloved Persian poets, like the one above. My grandparents would often recite poetry when they wanted to teach us something important about life. And in most of their lessons there was an undercurrent of kindness, honesty, piety, and respect. These poems and their lessons were etched in my mind from those early years thanks to their constant recitation at school and at home. The poems and their teachings changed me. As I began practicing conscientiously what I was being taught, I began to notice that family and friends are now coming to me for advice, to learn different ways to address conflict, how to deal with a ‘problem’, and how to move forward from a conflictual situation.

I have been a mediator for most of my adult life.

In my extended family, I have seen firsthand how a family, and especially the children of that family, can thrive when conflict among the adults and the caregivers are minimized, and how the reverse could happen. I have seen both the strength and the resiliency that is derived from transforming conflict and conversely the devastating and long-term effects of unresolved conflict in families. As a chief mediator of our practice, I bring in that wealth of experiential knowledge and my formal training as a family mediator to help families grow, transform their conflict and move forward.  

In my job as a mediator, not only I attempt to embody the teachings of my ancestors but also rely upon the poetry of giants whose words instilled the importance of kindness in me. I’ll leave you with one of the great ones: Rumi. May his ancient wisdom reach you across time and space and offer you some solace:

Somewhere beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.

– Rumi

Photo by Andreea Popescu on Unsplash